London - (Off Side Mess): "I'm no water under the Wayne bridge!" the mystery son of a Russian oligarch told reporters today.
Waving an alleged 1997 Chelsea Registry Office wedding certificate the wannabe Perroncel spouse said his 'wife' Vanessa 'burnt all her bridges' the day she married him.
The secretive scion of a Gazprom subsidiary shareholder claims he's spent the last 10 years in hiding.
An internecine feud between Vladimir Putin and Russian justice fugitive Boris Berezovsky has seen him holed up in a KGB safehous, completely cut off from the outside world.
But in a shocking video interview 'Dmitry' has claimed the couple have a 12 year-old daughter who's been living with a St Petersburg foster family since 1998.
And a legally-binding prenup entitles him to half Vanessa's income, assets and beneficial money arrangements.
The news has prompted an unprintable repsonse from Wayne Bridge's lawyers, keen to protect their client from ever-spiralling childcare-related costs.
Wayne Rooney is no relation.
