He played football for Bournemouth. She helped a group of farmers to find some wives. But together they became an unstoppable force of tedium, boring the crap out of TV viewers who can't find anything better to watch.
Jamie and Louise Redknapp, or 'Lousy' as they haven't been affectionately named in media circles, are today celebrating the purchase of their own private Island in the Mediterranean.
The secluded island, called Majorca, has been sold to them for 10 Euros after the couple starred in a series of TV adverts for holiday company Thomas Cook.
A not very close friend of the couple revealed, 'Jamie and Louise are delighted to have agreed a deal with the Majorcan government to purchase the Island at what they believe is an absolute steal. It's amazing. They're amazing. Everything's amazing.'
Majorca relies on British holiday makers to turn up every summer, knowing they'll spend lots of money having a great time sitting in the departures lounge of Palma airport waiting for someone to open a check-in desk. But since the Redknapps have appeared in these adverts, holiday bookings to the once popular island have dramatically dropped to zero for the upcoming summer season so the economy has completely collapsed.
'It's been a disaster' ex head of tourism in Majorca, Manuel San Miguel sobbed. 'Everyone on the island was expecting a bumper summer of British holiday makers celebrating the end of the Ice Age they had just experienced. But as not one hotel has taken a single booking for the whole period from May to September the locals have decided to leave the island and go and make a living elsewhere.'
'It seems the thought of potentially spending time in the company of the Redknapps was too much for the British people to be able to cope with. People like to come on holiday to relax and have a good time but imagine if you were unlucky enough to be staying in the same hotel as Jamie and Louise. You'd be chewing on the table legs after spending five minutes in their company listening to their unoriginal, fence sitting opinions on subjects like the shoes and Spurs chances of making the Champions League this season.'
'Therefore, the only thing for the government to do was put the island up for sale on Ebay. But when no one offered the minimum bid of 9.99 Euros our only option was to offer it to the only people who are ever likely to go to Majorca now, the Redknapps.'
A spokesman for Thomas Cook refused to admit that using the couple had been detrimental to holiday sales this summer. 'Yes there has been a drop in bookings but we don't like to put the blame on the charismatic stars of our adverts. We just believe that everyone in the UK is broke after spending so much money on their heating bills this winter so can't actually afford to go away.'
The Redknapps were unavailable for comment.
Thank God.
