Written by LisaPisa

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

image for Local Woman Challenges Men-Folk Not To Look Down Her Blouse
Picture cropped for deceny purposes

Local woman Lydia Lumpkin, 25, has challenged all the local village men-folk to a staring contest.

Lydia, a narcoleptic tightrope walker with a degree in marine biology from the Open University, set the terms as follows:

A Eye-to-eye contact must be kept for the duration of the contest. Stevie Wonder may not compete.

B No funny faces allowed to be pulled during the battle.

C No talking, singing or drooling.

D No interference from contestants' friends or talking animals.

E Contestants must wager an amount at least equal to the weight of a fully-grown baby ferret.

F In the true spirit of Abba, the winner takes it all.

Lydia is confident of success because she recently purchased a new low-cut blouse from a local retailers.

"I have the most extraordinary tits", Lydia said, "they are big and bouncy and my nipples could cut glass. No person of the male persuasion could take their eyes off my precious lady bumps".

Lydia has toured the local hills and valleys with her scheme in the past and made a tidy sum from gullible young bucks who have all fallen victim to her womanly charms.

"Last year alone I made £12.37, a stick of gum and several ferret skins in winnings", she boasted.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Breasts

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