Lady Sovereign has confirmed today that all the rumours are true. She did this through a close friend who knows her better than anyone. The friend says that anything you've ever heard that sounded a bit bizarre or a bit strange, and you thought "that can't be true". Well it is. Its all true.
She especially wanted to confirm the rumour that Sov is Queen of the Somali Pirates. Apparently that's how she got her name. The Pirates were so impressed with Sov when she gatecrashed their scene five years ago that they wanted to give her a name. They thought about "Lady Dubloon" or "Lady Pieces of eight" but they eventually decided on sovereign because those were the things she liked to steal from tourists the most.
But the Pirates told Lady Sov's friend that they wanted the world to know about Lady Sov's generosity. Among the Pirates she is a legend. She steals from the rich and gives it all away. She gives to schools and hospitals and poor unfortunates in disaster zones.
That's why she got voted out so quickly. The pirates needed her out because she had work to do. They knew that if she knew about the earthquake in Haiti, she'd want to be out on the high seas, hi-jacking oil tankers to raise money for the United Nations disaster appeal.
So last night every pirate in the world voted for Sov in order to help the Haiti people. It was an act of charity. They say that Sov doesn't want people to know about her Princess Diana style personality so that's why she was so mean on the show. She feared that if people know what she's really like then they'll send her to prison and she'll no longer be able to rob people on the high seas.
Lady Sovereign was unavailable to comment on these rumours herself because she is believed to be on a boat headed to the somali. That's just the kind of girl she is.
By Katarina Frogpond
