Salt shortage hits Downing Street

Funny story written by MickyW

Monday, 11 January 2010

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gordon brown

WITH parts the nation's travel network still reeling due to the freezing weather, it has been revealed even Downing Street has not been left unaffected by the big freeze that has gripped the UK.

At an emergency Downing Street press conference called today it was announced that No10 has run out of salt.

The Labour leader was sitting down to his usual two dippy eggs and soldiers (two slices of Best of Both thick sliced) yesterday morning when panic ensued as the PM's wife, Sarah, got the Saxo out of the cupboard only to find there "wasn't as much as a sprinkling left - who would put an empty box back in the cupboard for heaven's sake?".

She ransacked the No10 kitchen cupboards but even the sea salt had also run out after the Browns had guests for dinner on New Year's Day.

Mrs Brown said: "I used the last of the sea salt for the turkey sandwiches. You know what it's like, you've got to get rid of it before it goes off and what with the weather I'd just not had chance to get out and buy some more salt and didn't realise our levels were so low. There wasn't a sprinkling left for the PM's favourite dippy eggs, but he took it with his usual stiff upper lip and droopy jaw."

A disappointed Prime Minister said: "I have left it to those responsible that in under no circumstances can we allow salt levels to fall so low in future. We must be better prepared for such situtations when they arise.

"Despite having none for my dippy eggs for the next several days I will do without and get on with the job in hand which is to get the country through this cold spell and focus on my announcement for the next General Election.

"Perhaps I will leave the eggs alone for a few days as without salt as it's just not the same - and pepper doesn't suffice - and eat a bowl of cereal instead.

"Admittedly, after the excesses of Christmas and the New Year maybe some fibre won't go amiss.

"I am also, despite what political commentators and my opponents feel, an optimist, and believe there is a silver lining to every cloud.

"It has been brought to my attention by health minister [Andy Burnham] that a move from Saxo to Lo-Salt would be a good idea as apparently it's better for you."

Apparently the Browns have borrowed salt from the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling, at No11 Downing Street, until Mrs Brown gets out to do the weekly shop sometime later today.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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