National Trust anoraks, the Forestry Commission and The Lake District National Parks Authority were last night holding crisis talks after discovering that the future of one of the country's unspoilt paradise hangs in the balance.
Ordinance Survey readings taken during the period Spring 2008 to Spring 2009 indicate that erosion caused by thousands of feet tramping the area's designated pathways every year, have lowered the overall elevation of the Park's 885 square miles (2292 square kilometres) by a staggering 13 feet (several metres).
Scafell Pike at 3210 feet, (978 metres) the highest point in England, has now had its elevation above sea level amended to 3197 feet (974 metres).
AW Wainscoting, the celebrated fell walker and overall grumpy old bugger, has spoken.
"I feel it incumbent upon myself," he told TheSpoof.com, " to warn the poor people of this fair land that they may soon lose one of the last free areas of recreation in the British Isles. Mind you." he continued, "If the Lake District is under water, the rest of us will have been drowned bloody ages ago."
Thanks, AW.
When asked if there is anything that the nation can do to prevent what will undoubtedly be a disaster of biblical proportions? A spokesperson for The National Trust said, 'Not really.'
