St Pancrarse Station, London - (Bite the Bullet Train Mess): Commuters have reacted furiously to the lockdown of a Japanese website that took their $$$s after promising groping success during the rush hour.
Reckless fondling of fellow travellers' extremities has become something of an Olympic sport in Tokyo with hundreds of advice sites proliferating on the internet.
But UK franchises bombed overnight despite offering users 'for less than the price of a British Rail tongue sandwich' multiple software downloads for special 3-D X-ray contact lenses that reveal the naked bodies of potential gropees.
A freak ionic storm affected the 5.30 to Pratts Bottom last Friday causing temporary blindness and near permanent penile dysfunction in a number of travellers.
Senior law lord and government adviser on the return of capital punishment Lord O'Bollox has been charged with lewd behavior.
