Roy Turse Celebrates Hawaii Day Today

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Friday, 21 August 2009

image for Roy Turse Celebrates Hawaii Day Today
Roy in his early forties

Occasional Spoof writer Roy Turse has announced that he is celebrating Hawaii Day today, 21st August. He says that there are no hula skirts involved, and no ham and pineapple pizza. It's just the big Five-Oh.

Unlikely as it seems, Roy is fifty today, and it can only be a matter of time before he re-invents himself as a young female contributor on the Spoof's forums. With his faculties now failing at an alarming rate, he now faces the long downward spiral toward senility and incontinence.

Roy's memory has recently become almost non-existent, and he sometimes forgets that he only drinks to forget. He points out that he still has his own hair - in ears and nostrils at least - although he also seems to have somebody else's too. He says he is fit as a fiddle, although he hasn't had a fiddle in months. He had a fit last week though.

As somebody old once said, getting old may be a pain, but it still beats the alternative.

Which I understand is cryogenic freezing, followed by rejuvenation and gene-splice therapy in 2109.

Roy says that there is a virtual birthday cake in the conference room at Spoof Towers if anyone wants a piece. And he will see everybody at Parodies Wine Bar after work.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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