Written by Chamone

Saturday, 11 July 2009

image for Beggars to be Fed to Zoo Animals
"Move on, you filthy reprobate or I'll have you fed to the penguins!"

A new law has been passed whereby anyone caught begging will be chopped up and fed to the animals in the local zoo for supper.

The law could also be extended to include charity collectors and buskers - two of the vilest, most wretched forms of organised crime in the country.

"We're sending out a very strong signal to these hobo's that they can't just block the entrances to supermarkets and cash machines like they've been getting away with for years", said a lawmaker.

Due to the currant economic climate, the animals in the zoo have gone hungry due to lack of resources. Zoo staff began feeding the larger animals to the smaller ones - starting with the elephants - but soon discovered that zebra's have a voracious appetite.

The idea to use beggars as 'feed' was proposed after a successful test in Australia using the homeless to feed kangaroos.

The first batch of beggars have been herded up and are awaiting distribution early Sunday morning.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Zoo, Begging




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