London, UK - Internationally reknowned actress, Dame Judith Olivia Dench, CH, DBE, FRSA, has ordered that the President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, be liquidated by the United Kingdom's counter-intelligence and security agency, MI5.
In response to the order, Prime Minister Gordon Brown stated that, although he empathized with the sentiment behind Ms. Dench's actions, he doubted that the order would be followed up.
When informed of what had transpired, President Ahmadinejad stated, "Ha...ha...ha..who is this woman who would have me killed? What are her motives? I shall think that now you westerners should think twice before putting these women on a pedestal. She belongs under a bhurka or better yet, behind the front door of her house where she cannot be heard in public."
Ms. Dench may feel that her remarks carried some weight as she had portrayed a character, 'M', in the popular 'James Bond' series of films, who may have been familiar with the protocols in carrying out the assassination of a world leader, if not the actual authority to issue such a directive.
Pierce Brosnan, a former co-star of Dame Judi Dench, and one who would have been directed to perform such an action within the confines of the film's plot, had this to say regarding Ms. Dench's actions.
Said Mr. Brosnan, "Look. She's a fine actress, well respected in the profession, but I think she may have gone a little too overboard. In fact, she may be barking mad, which, considering her age, would not be surprising. But so is this Ima Dinnerjacket fellow, so I guess they're even."
Famed actor, Sean Connery, viewed by many as the one actor who 'owned' the James Bond persona, was not available for this article. However, Mr. Connery's publicist has stated that he is believed to have taken an 'unscheduled trip' to 'somewhere in the middle-east'. Actor Michael Caine, former co-star with Connery in the movie, 'The Man Who Would Be King', is believed to have accompanied him.
Another co-star of that film, Christopher Plummer, was contacted. His only statement was, "Oh..God. That Sound of Music movie. I really hated that role. I loathed it," and drifted off the phone line having not said a relevant thing to any interviewer for nearly a decade.*
*Ed. Note:... Silly tosser!!