New High Tech Phone To Make Life Easier For Serial Killers

Written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 21 June 2009

image for New High Tech Phone To Make Life Easier For Serial Killers
Peter Sutcliffe Wonders 'What If?'

Nipple, the cell phone manufacturer today announced its new CGI phone, which it is thought will make life much simpler for serial killers.

The phone, which uses biometric body scanning technology enables potential serial killers to pick out victims without having to go through the process of stalking people, who may not be suitable victims.

The phone, which will retail at £299 is reportedly going to provide a much needed boost for budding serial killers.

Jimmy Short, a budding serial killer from Nelson in Lancashire, who is quite a creepy individual, told us:

"Yeah. I'd be all in favour of that. If it highlights victims like. I get the urge to kill quite often, but I'm like a nipper in a sweetshop. Can't make me mind up who to pick. If you've got a phone that'll do it for you, that's well sweet."

At which point we observed Short going all glazed about the eyes so we hurriedly buggered off out of it.

More serial killer related stupidity as it comes in.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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