The results of the local elections were reported to be decided in advance by Simon Cowell it was announced by a shocked Alistair Darling - with his arm round Gordon Brown who was unable to speak himself because he was so shocked.
The discovery of this shock voting coup only came to light following an unexpected meeting in a Clapham kebab shop between Piers Morgan and the BBC political editor Nick Robinson.
Apparently Mr Morgan had been drinking heavily and was demanding his kebab be given to him in a polystyrene box and not in paper. Nick Robinson leaned across to him and said "a bit like a ballot box Piers ?"
To the utter shock of all in the shop Mr Morgan shouted out that no one needed ballot boxes anymore because - in his words "Simon has the lot rigged anyway - it's all rubbish this democracy thing". He then staggered from the shop and lurched into a waiting Minimoke driven by Amanda Holden (further fuelling their torrid affair rumours).
Another shocked customer who asked not to be named (Mr John Dennison of 8 Mollison Avenue Clapham) - said that Nick Robinson was straight on his mobile phone - even though his face was covered in Chilli sauce. He was overheard to ask for David Dimpleby and then repeated everything Piers had told him - he seemed totally convinced, although he was frothing a bit and his eyes kept rolling back in his head.
We at the spoof (for that is us) attempted to obtain verification of this story from Sid, the doorman at one of the BBC exit doors once used by Bruce Forsyth - but Sid had already had his daily bottle of Vodka and was unable to comment - or breathe properly.
The potential for possible revolution however remains high and we have taken the shocking and unusual step in the office of issuing all our staff with ex ministry gas masks in case of a chemical attack by Mr Cowells Company - the aptly named Syco.