Wiltshire - (Satanic Ass Mess): As he rots in his Rome maximum security prison cell, seething with rage that badass nephew George W Bush failed to deliver on that free-get-out-of-jail-card the P2 Lodge's Grand Master Licio Gelli is gobsmacked by the news from England this week.
An encrypted message from junior toerag hireling Tony Blair's personal father confessor has confirmed what Gelli, 97, has been dreading all his life.
A gigantic jellyfish crop circle, portent of P2 Lodge doom, is lording it over swathes of the White Whorse of Uffington landscape, like some massive cosmic two-finger sign to the satanic cult's overlord.
"This can only mean one thing, Duce!" Fr Michael Seedy told Gelli this morning
"Prepare for some extremely fishy public business."