Nottingham Robber Gets Ten Years

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

image for Nottingham Robber Gets Ten Years
Hood In Court - Handcuffed To An Outsized Comedy Moustache

Nottingham man, Robin Locksley Hood, 29, of Sherwood Road Nottingham was jailed for ten years today after having been found guilty at Nottingham Crown Court of 76 charges of robbery.

Hood, who pleaded not guilty, claimed that he was on a mission to redistribute wealth, and in mitigation claimed that he only ever robbed the rich in order to give to the poor. Representing himself, Hood claimed to be performing a valuable social service on behalf of the community.

Sir Patrick Sheriff QC, prosecuting, quickly set about debunking Hood's outrageous claims by stating that no proceeds from any of the robberies had been found to have been distributed among the city's poor. But reported that police searching Hoods home found a number of Rolex watches, a significant quantity of jewellery, several credit cards, a number of mobile phones, a substantial quantity of cash and an unspecified amout of illegal drugs.

After sentencing, it was made public that Hood had been armed with a bow and arrows during the commission of at least 27 of these robberies.

Hood's wife, Marion, vowed to stand by her wayward husband but admitted that she'd probably shag his best mate, John Little, if the frustration became too much to bear.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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