In a surprise move, Pope Benedict XVI is to visit Craggy Island later this week on his way back from the Middle East.
There he will meet local priests Father Ted Crilly, Father Dougal McGuire and Father Jack Hackett at the island's parochial house.
He is expected not to talk to them about his 2006 Faith, Reason and the University lecture, nor about his pal Richard Williamson, nor about Pope Pius XII.
Instead he will get up to all sorts of hilarious capers with the priests but will avoid any embarrassment.
Afterwards, his holiness will return to Rome to start work on a lecture about the invaluable service choirboys provide to priests.
