"We are only following the rules" bleated the slack jawed toilet blocker, Environment Secretary Ed Miliband. "ok so we wrote the rules, but that's not cheating! The system needs to be reformed," he admitted.
Ed Miliband's expenses are comparatively minimal as he gets his 'pocket money' every Saturday from the Prime Minister.
The Daily Telegraph exposed the larceny of the labour party by publishing senior members expenses.
While Miliband spunked his pocket money on a can of Coke, a quarter or sherbert lemons and some space dust, it appeared his colleagues fully exploited the loosely-drawn rules - devised by themselves.
Gordon Brown purchased Gob Stoppers, Black Jacks and a large tin of Quality Street. Jackie Smith favoured a Sherbert Fountain, Cola Cubes and Licorice Laces while giving her husband a whole Battenberg Cake.
The final straw however was Health Secretary Alan Johnson who purchased large quantities of sweet cigaretes contrary to the Labour Party stance on Smoking.
We're Candy pawns in their tawdry schemes commented an angry member of the public.
