Reports that hostages may be free just "hot air"

Written by whatinthe world

Thursday, 26 March 2009

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Unconfirmed reports have been leaked to the press suggesting that the 1500 Greenodd residents held hostage in Somalia may in fact be free.

Somalian authorities have refused to confirm or deny these details and there is some confusion surrounding the whole crisis.

The Somali pirates responsible for the kidnapping are said to be in intermittent contact with a unnamed intermediary (though rumour has it is Gary Kemp, lead singer of Spandeau Ballet).

When this reporter phoned Superintendent Harry "snapper" Organs of Q Division he was told in no uncertain terms that this rumour was untrue and more than likely just, in his words, "hot air". When asked if there had been any sign of constructive, material reaction to the kidnapping by British authorities Superintendent Organs replied "let me get back to our card game".

London Police are working away with their usual deliberate tradesman-like manner in getting a solution to this acute situation.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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