London - (Told You So! Prescient Ass Mess): Early Sunday morning, 22nd March, a horrified flunkey fainted in Windsor Castle's Herman Goering Memorial Wing after finding a hideous rigid corpse in tragic reality queen Elizabeth Windsor's bed.
"At first we thought it was Joseph Fritzl in drag," Buckingham Palace's Lord Chamberlain Lord Loose-Cannon told reporters.
"And then the full horror of it dawned on us: Old Fatty Mountbatten has croaked and we are all done for!"
"Of course the Army was called out immediately," NATO's Dr V Smart, Professor of Royal Parasitology commented later.
"Within one hour 95% of members of the fake House of Windsor, virtually all British politicians, bankers, wannabe reality tv contestants and JK Rowling were behind bars at HMP Belmarsh."
Camilla is to be sectioned at HMP Rampton.