Katona's Millions Found in Boot of Taxi

Funny story written by Mrs Kensington

Saturday, 14 March 2009


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Croft - "Unpopular"

Experts investigating the whereabout of bankrupt ex-atomic kitten star Kerry Katona's fortune are one step closer to solving the mystery this morning, after £9 million pounds was found in the boot of a taxi in a Manchester car park.

Just hours after Katona, who auctioned 60% of her body on the internet to raise funds to pay her tax bill, had announced her divorce from her unpopular gold-digging husband Mark Croft, police were called to the "Whalley Hotel" in Withington where a taxi, with the number plate C12OFT was discovered abandoned in the overflow car park.

Landlord, Joe Longthorne, was said to be "gobsmacked" when a police search revealed a suitcase containing millions in used twenty pound notes. Further investigation revealed a bin bag containing an Atomic Kitten 'Right Now' Platinum disc and an overnight bag containing several toupes in different colours, a pair of Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses worth an estimated £250,000, a Ferrari catalogue and a one way ticket to Dubai for next Saturday.

"We're pretty sure that this is Kerry's money", a police spokesman told reporters this morning "But for the moment the identity of the thief is a complete mystery."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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