SUDAN - The Mahdi sect's leader complains that when he moves his limbs to music, people accuse him of smoking pot and dancing with naked ladies.
"This is something Prince Charles would do, not me", said the 100 year old Mahdi, so weak and frail he could hardly move his limbs anyway.
None the less, since he was felling like a British subject, he jumped off the bed and kicked me in the butt. We then wrestled for about an hour. He beat me and made me promise to take this message back to the Queen. I guess my diet of junk food has not paid off very well.
"We will not buy any more opium. It didn't work our for the Chinese. Now get your empire outa here!", he stated as his message.
