Brighton Homocycles in fights with 'Dikes on Bikes'

Funny story written by bonzodog64

Friday, 27 February 2009

image for Brighton Homocycles in fights with 'Dikes on Bikes'
Who's afraid of Virginias wolf? Congestion problems eased at Brighton City Council but not without rear guard action.

Brighton solves urban congestion problem by introducing 'Homocycles'. 'Tug' Buttman head of transport services at Brighton City council claimed that, "We have bicycles, tricycles, and hetero cycles and felt compelled to introduce the Homocycle in order to represent the full spectrum, or cycle of sexuality."

Tugg claims that nothing prepares him more for a hard day at work than a strenuous, early morning workout on the 'pink seat'.

"When I straddle that homocycle in the morning I know that I am helping to make the city a better place and putting some colour in my cheeks. This one piece Lycra outfit supplied with the Homocycle can be so attractive. I shove some Gloria Gaynor on my MP3 and work up a sweat. I find the range of accessories such as cycling cape, skin care pack, and West End musical guide, really useful".

Homos are being given out free to council employees.

"We are confident that once you've ridden a homo for a month you will not want to go back to four wheels. Two wheels are much better than four for play" claims Brendan Fudgepucker.

"The 'Saphocycle' has been a huge hit with the girls for ages, we think the 'penised' residents of this city are just mimicking our success", claims Dora Clegg, president of 'dikes on bikes'.

"Some technical problems were encountered with the homocycle initiative" claimed Birk Dogarde, head of arts and farces at the city council. "The girls will not ride the pink seat and prefer to go down grasping the handlebars below . The guys are happy to straddle the seat and like getting it 'upright'. It's no big deal, just get a wrench out, slacken some nuts, and stuff the pink seat in your homocycle. If you need help, we come round and stuff it in for you."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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