World record holder, Gordon P Gordon today declared that he was conceding defeat in the battle for world record honours.
Mr Gordon declared that the competition was just too stiff.
"I think that at one time it was okay to advertise yourself as a world record holder. My claim was that I had the world's longest index finger.
"But then ET came along and buggered that claim up. He's put me out of a job that little alien bastard," claimed Mr Gordon.
Who then went on to claim that people making up Spoof stories could always go one better.
"These people are taking away my livelihood," complained Gordon P Gordon, somewhat angrily.
When asked by Spoof reporters if he had any credible comments to make, Mr Gordon barricaded himself in his attic,armed only with a George Foreman grill and some value sausages, sparking a 23 hour siege by hungry police.
Which, quite predictably ended in an anticlimax.
"He's a friggin nutter and I'm filing for divorce as we speak," Mrs Gordon P Gordon told us.
We sometimes wonder whether it's all worth it.
More from us when the man with the world's biggest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina (who is probably harboring Bin Laden up there) finally come to our journalistic attention and are deemed 'not worth the bother'
The Disjointed Society Of Great Britain hereby concede that this story is disjointed.
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*Interpret this as you will.