Written by Karl Mercer

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

image for Unemployment at an all time high
Jim does Travel and Tourism, and he loves it.

Levels of unemployment in the UK have reached a record eleven year high. Coincidentally most of those still visiting their dole office from that period have experienced a similar eleven year high.

It should come as no surprise to an average UK working man that these figures are correct, as more and more of the Jeremy-Kyleites wander about town centres holding babies and stella cans like accessories. The fact that these scumbags are given free money is something about which the morality has often been debated. They clearly have no intention of getting off their arses, and while their little baby gets them £200 a month in benefits they're going to sit about and eat up the funds on expensive trainers, hoodies and XBox360 games.

While pupils are leaving school with better and better qualifications; unfortunately this is due to teachers knowing what will be in exams and exactly what to tell them to write, and not down to any increasing intellect. As such, people may be coming out of school and college with A grades, but their common sense is definitely a fail.

This results in them spunking their University funds (loans, grants etc.) on nights out in overpriced clubs, instead of assisting their studies. They are also studying stupid stuff subjects such as 'Film and Media' or 'Travel and Tourism', which offer little career prospects besides a checkout person at Aldi.

So it is then that, at this time of major economic crisis, the government will insist on handing out hard earned cash to dossers, tossers, losers, users and whores.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Unemployment

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