Russell Brand has been arrested following the nationwide revulsion at his outrageous behaviour on Radio 2.
Under the new terror laws which allow any entertainer in Britain to be held for up to 56 days without trial, Police swooped on Brand's house this morning. Unfortunately he wasn't there as the police had forgotten to put their watches back and Brand had gone out to sleep with another grandaughter of a national institution (who cannot be named for legal reasons).
The police amused themselves for a while by shooting innocent passers-by until the smug Brand re-appeared. Then they swooped again and arrested the "entertainer".
Brand has so far only made the following comment through his solicitor: "Ooooooooh."
On hearing the news of the arrest Gordon Brown whooped with joy. "It is about time that we took the fight back to these people who terrorise the public with their amoral behaviour. I am of course delighted that someone has found a way to be more unpopular than me. Long live the credit crunch and BBC imbeciles."
In a clear reference to Brand's recent publication, David Cameron said: "I hope we can throw the booky wook at him."