Russell Brand Sacked For Sitting On Jonathan Ross's Face

Written by Clifford Rutley

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

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Russell Estimates His Penis Size.

During a T.V. show, annoying hippy scruff of a comedian Russell Brand sat on Jonathan Ross's face for a full twelve minutes, annoying lots of old people who tuned in late at night to complain about the affair.

After many over the top news reports that pushed the story to the top of many bulletins, leaving more important stuff such as the economy and murders until later on, the BBC has decided to sack him.

'This has nothing to do with him sitting on Jonathan Ross's face,' BBC director general Mark Thompson told us. 'In fact, we've been looking for a reason to get rid of that annoying prick for ages. We've also managed to offload Jonathan Ross as well - for actually seeming to like the experience of having Brand's stink hole placed in his mush for twelve minutes.'

Meanwhile, the stock market has seen its first rise in weeks, showing us how much these two nob heads were to blame for destroying confidence in the financial system.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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