A Zimbabwean big game hunter, more accustomed to hunting wildebeest and lions came a cropper yesterday when he had to be rescued from a hole in a Hampshire field by police and the fire service.
Clayton Le Moors, who was in possession of a a Kalashnikov assault rifle, a Smith and Wesson .38, a bow annd arrows, a sharpened stick and a string of sausages, was somewhat embarrassed as he released the following statement:
'It was foolish of me I know, but I was stalking a rabbit through a field when I fell into a hole and had to rely on the rescue services to get me out.
'I am an experienced survivalist, but there was just no way I could predict the hole.
'The rabbit fled alive. But it was lucky.'
The hole turned out to be a base laying pipeline for a major TV media company.
The TV company declined to comment, but Richard Branson was reputedly pissing himself laughing.
Clayton Le Moors declined to comment further other than saying he could really hit people hard but that he was occasionally prone to falling down holes in Hampshire.