Written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

image for Arthur Pewty Is A Fake Claims Childhood Friend
Jimmy Bacon On His Way To Work Yesterday

Infamous Neasden hard-man, gangster and underworld kingpin Arthur Pewty today came under fire from a childhood friend who claims that Pewty is a fake.

Jimmy Bacon,53, of Stoops Estate Burnley Lancashire, a lecturer in anti-terrorism techniques at Burnley College of Arts And Technology said:

'He makes me sick these days Arthur does. He used to be a right grand lad till he upped sticks and went down that London.

'I don't know why he keeps banging on about how proud he is to live in Neasden, because he were born and bred in Burnley. He might be a big time gangster now but I remember when he worked as a pot washer at Holden's cafe in't market hall. He should be bloody ashamed of t way he's turned his back on his Burnley roots, pretending to be a cockney and all that. He were as soft as shite when he lived up here, and now he's like the bloody godfather or summat. Don't make me laugh.

'Oh, and while we're at it, you know that wife of his, that Beryl, well I used to go out with her. Shagged her a few times too. Tell him to stick that in his poncey bloody fondue set and smoke it. When you see him, like.'

Arthur Pewty responded to Jimmy Bacon's broadside by saying:

'Poor Jimmy, he always was delusional. Lecturer in anti-terrorism techniques my arse. And I've never been ashamed of my Burnley roots and I've never turned my back on them either. And he's never shagged my Beryl. The cheeky bastard.'

More news as we get it dear readers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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