Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 21 August 2008

image for Floozy In Red Shoes Flirts With Men, Causing Hard-ons

A woman in red stiletto-heeled shoes flirted with shoppers in a busy Staffordshire high street today, drawing admiring stares from desperate men, and causing widespread hard-ons.

The woman in her thirties, emerged from one of the town's many charity shops wearing her new shoes, and proceeded to 'strut her stuff' in front of gawping males, who exchanged knowing glances with one another.

One, Albert Dickless, 59, said:

"I would!"

His wife, Elsie, 64, cuffed him around the ear.

Others couldn't take their eyes off the sultry, swaggering fox, clad in a floral-pattern dress and non-matching hat, gloves and handbag. Her tights were mega-laddered, and made her look like she had been 'sleeping in a thicket'.

Desperate times call for desperate bastards though, and father-of-none, David Nerd, 41, said:

"Foooooooooookin' 'ell! Look at her in them red shoes!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sex

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