London - (Festering Mess): Harley Street gynaecologists are baffled. An obscure, crawling species that wormed its way up Kate Middleton's fanny on holiday made a sudden hurried exit all over the Mahiki night club dance floor on Friday night.
Horrified clubbers started retching and puking after the infestation of yellowish, prawn-like wrigglers tumbled out of her knickers right in the middle of 'I will survive'.
An emergency response team from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Diseases clap clinic arrived by air ambulance to tackle the slime just as it began morphing into the imago stage.
"Looks like they'd been gestating in a hotbed of crack cocaine-fuelled secretions," the team's Prof V Smart commented today.
"Classic case of an ecdysis allergy, where the mutant host causes molting of the cuticula in the arthropod," Smart added.
"Little buggers must have fled after getting the fright of their lives."
Chelsy Davy is catatonic.
