Archbishop to join 'Red Devils'

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Tuesday, 27 May 2008

image for Archbishop to join 'Red Devils'
A Red Devil about to 'PULL!'

In what might be seen by some as a blatant act of heresy, the Archbishop of York John Sentamu is going to do one of the most daring stunts a senior member of the Church of England's has yet performed. He is going to join the Red Devils.

No, he has not defected to the enemy side of Christianity. He is going to jump out of a perfectly good aeroplane belonging to the Parachute Regiment's Red Devils display team.

The Ugandan-born Archbishop is one for raising awareness of the downtrodden and oppressed such as the atrocities created by Robert Mugababy in Zimbabwe. This time he is highlighting the plight of our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq who are not well equipped by our own government and are often maligned by the British public.

Dr Semantu will make what he calls a "leap of faith" - from a plane at 12,000ft above Langar Airfield in Nottinghamshire.

He told In Seine News;

"Yes, I do have butterflies in my stomach, but I am certain that God will be watching out for me; This is my first jump and I wont be doing it in my robes in case they get tangled with the propellers, but I shall have incense burners tied to my legs so that onlookers can see me far above. It is a great chance for me to be closer to God than ever before."

"These men and women risk their lives, so why shouldn't I? I am hoping to raise at least £50,000 for the Afghanistan Trust, which provides care for soldiers injured there and it's not too late to sponsor me!" he pleaded.

"The British seem to have an appalling attitude to returning soldiers in comparison too the Americans, for example, flight attendants will draw attention to a returning soldier and most of the passengers will applaud. What do we do? shout, mock and jeer at those who have returned from active service as at RAF Wittering earlier this year. The very least we can offer them in their return is to deliver on the covenantal promise of a welcome return."

Dr Sentamu is still a leading critic of the decision to go to war in Iraq. However, he believes that we should still honour and respect those who put their lives on the line in order to rebuild those countries.

Dr Semantu does NOT drink Red Bull.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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