Elton Still Number 1

Funny story written by Norton Folgate

Thursday, 1 May 2008

image for Elton Still Number 1
It seemed to him, she lived her life, like one of these. He thought that of Marilyn Monroe too.

The Daily Mail has sensationally admitted that it in fact faked Princess Diana's death to create interest and headlines.

John Elmans, a spokesperson for the paper who did not wish to be named for fear of jeopardising their career said: 'It's true, she (Diana) was in on the whole thing. Our circulation figures were plummeting and there was a threat of the paper going under therefore we hatched this plan

'It took some planning I can tell you because after the Northern Ireland Peace Treaty we were scratching around for something to print. Liam Gallagher could only have so many fights and stick two fingers up plus we could only p*ss George Michael so much. The readers were getting restless so we had to do something'.

After receiving further assurances that his identity would be kept secret, Elmans said that Diana is in fact alive and well, living in Stimby, Lincolnshire where she works part time in Argos and is studying for an Open University degree in Sociology.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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