We Know What You Did Last Summer - BT Admits Phorm Lies

Funny story written by carina-eta

Monday, 17 March 2008

image for We Know What You Did Last Summer - BT Admits Phorm Lies
Data-pimp Collecting Data

Top telecoms provider Bangalore Telecom (BT) , India, has admitted after pressure from customers that it secretly used its customers data to test Phorm's data-pimping (see target-marketing under "buzzwords",source; BT sales management meetings) of technology last Summer.

After threats of legal action from several disgruntled Broadband users, the Telecoms giant was forced to admit to its illegal activity and to further admit that it covered it up when questioned last Summer.

In a statement released today BT admitted,"We took your data. We lied. We don't care. Try calling us, if you can get through or alternatively write to India. Whatever."

The data stolen by BT was sent to the contraversial Phorm database for processing. Phorm insists that it uses data anonymously to target Broadband users with appropriate advertising, tailored to suit their needs.

They admitted,"97% of users say they love Spam, particularly advertising Spam and would be happy to have adverts tailored to suit their personal tastes. (source; survey inc, test sample 1 person)

BT, The Carphone Warehouse and Virgin Media have claimed that in future, rather than just taking the information without asking (see; theft, source; dictionary), will instead include the following opt-out clause;

"Opting out may result in death, loss of your soul and loss of all Telcoms services forever for you and all your family. To continue to opt-out highlight the button marked self- destruct".

Sanjiv "Ben" Verwaayan, head of BT Theft Section today released a statement directly to the BT customers threatening to take legal action saying, "Back off, I have your data, I know your passwords and I know what kind of porn you are into, don't push me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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