London - (Lurid Ass Mess): The Crown Prosecution Service is being blackmailed to conduct an In-camera trial of two men accused of targeting a 'royal' figurine who is really the bastard son of notorious Labour WMD fantasist Lord Levy.
This would allow the entire proceedings to be held in secret including any subsequent appeals.
Ian Strachan and Sean McGuigan are charged in a gay sex and drugs sting after demanding £50,000 hush money from Princess Margaret's 'son' Lord Linley.
Their defence says that this is rubbish.
And attorneys representing the pair say they have ample proof that Linley is an impostor - the bastard son of Lord Linley, inserted into the Puppet Monarch's family after the real Lord Linley was topped by the Provos back in the 1970s.
"That's why New Labour wants it all hushed up behind closed doors," a legal source for the accused said today.
'Linley' has had a fantastic career sponging off royal handouts.
Two years ago he even became Chairman of a top London auction house on a whacking great big six-figure salary way beyond any natural abilities to command such remuneration.
His employers had previously been involved in corrupt insider trading and cartel-running prosecutions with US accomplices connected to the Bush Administration.
Early in 2007 'Linley' was caught shagging an under-age lad in a Kensington Palace 'shrubbery' - a term used by police for rent-boy brothels connected to the White House.
The application for secrecy will be heard - also In-Camera - early next week.
