Office Life: Researchers Link Gag Reflex and Career Progression

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Monday, 19 November 2007

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Doing Work: Surprisingly Unimportant

Researchers from the Institute of Organisational Psychology have today announced the results of a lengthy study into career progression, and have controversially revealed an indisputable link between career progression and the gag reflex.

It is understood that people willing to swallow both their pride and the corporate cock are a lot more likely to be promoted. People who gagged on the corporate cock were often overlooked for promotion, unless they possessed the corporate ass. Having a corporate ass is slightly less important than the gag reflex, but being able to bend over and take an injection of corporate meat without flinching was identified as a key skill for the modern day worker.

Boffin Geekson a Dutch researcher from the Institute reiterated that "the ability to do the job isn't important. You need to take the senior management bullshit, laugh at their jokes, flirt with them at work parties, show some boob, etc. If they say jump, you say 'how high? And can I have some corporate cock please?".

Louise Rogers, who possesses both a corporate ass and no gag reflex, admits to often taking corporate cock in both mouth and ass in order to progress her career. Her ability to be corporately plugged airtight highlighted her as 'one to watch' amongst the overly horny and overpaid senior management team at GF Services. Louise says "I wear clothes that show off my boobs and little skirts that sometimes reveal a hint of badger, and whenever there is a chance for some corporate cock I am on it like a ravenous cheap Thai whore".

Lord Smythe-Smithson De Mountback was surprised by the findings, saying that "I treat everyone in my corporation with the utmost respect, this is a meritocracy and people are promoted purely based on merit" before ordering a colleague to lick the fox's blood from his jodhpurs, and then promoting them to Junior Senior Second Assistant to the Assistant of the Lord.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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