Drowning Street - (Rotters): A full scale slanging match has erupted after Portuguese police named UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown an 'arguido'.
The move comes after Brown's conversations with his Portuguese counterpart at a recent EU summit in Lisbon were taped in secret.
José Sócrates is heard complaining that Brown is obstructing natural justice that allows free press speculation about whatever is in the news.
Brown meanwhile shouts back that his arse is in a sling over the entire business after repeated Prime Monster's Questions at the House of Commons demanding if he and the DutchAss Camilla have proved to be 100% DNA matches of an existing Portuguese police investigation arguido.
Meanwhile ex-Prime Monster's wife Cherie Blair has told reporters that "Brown is lying" in a repetition of her eerily prescient words at the 2006 Labour Party Conference.
Earlier today in the Algarve resort of Praia Da'illusion a British resident implicated in the police investigation is threatening to spill the beans on the Brown fiasco unless publicist Max Clifford gets him selected for the BBC's festive Strictly Naked Come Dancing Xmas Special.
An update will follow later.