The Devil has today announced that his famous UK branch of Hell, Burning Brits, will be closing down in July 2008 after His Evilness went bankrupt.
The decision came after Satan spoke with God and Gordon Brown about his financial problems. He later released a statement saying "I cannot keep my UK branch of Hell, Burning Brits, open after July 2008 as I will not have sufficient funds to buy the fuel for the fires".
The Devil's bank, the Alliance and Leicester, has been notified and will cease to calculate tax on the Devil's bank account.
God, in an exclusive interview with The News of The World, told of how disappointed he was with the closure. "I'm well pissed off," he said angrily, "It means I have to have all those dirty little buggers in Heaven, or send them to the US branch". When asked why he didn't send them to the US branch, he said "I can't; none of the airlines will accept miracles as payment".
The Home Office will be launching a full investigation into the closure of the branch, and also into The Lord of Darkness' current financial status.
