Written by Shaun Ferguson

Friday, 29 June 2007

image for London Councils In Bidding War
10% commission for every parking ticket

London Councils keen to increase their monopoly on parking revenues have entered into a bidding war for each others streets.

City of Westminster have tabled a £100 million pound offer to The Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea, while Camden is hoping to beat Wandsworth's £50 million pound offer to Lewisham.

Transport for London's congestion tax has hit the councils where it hurts, in the back pocket, by reducing traffic. London Councils have hit back by suspending all their activities, including rubbish collection and social services, while their entire staffs have been kitted up with uniforms and sent out to roam the streets looking for parking offenders.

Westminster are paying their staff a 10% commission on every ticket they issue.

Lord Mayor of Westminster Councillor Carolyn Keen, who recently hit the news for flagrantly disregarding her own council's parking regulations, told The Spoof she was determined to extend Westminster's parking cartel right across the capital. "Thank goodness we don't have the same restraints as Tesco, she cackled, "If they had the kind of monopoly we do the Commission would be down on them like a ton of bricks".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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