Fayed warns Middleton will die in Diana bank holiday copycat 'accident'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 20 August 2007

image for Fayed warns Middleton will die in Diana bank holiday copycat 'accident'
Fayed believes Middleton will be bumped off by MI5 and Prince Philip

London - (Ass mess): Mohammed Fayed has told the police he thinks Kate Middleton will "die in a Diana bank holiday copycat car accident" this month.

"I have seen all the signs and omens for myself," Fayed bellowed today.

"MI6, Prince Philip and the entire British Establishment, they all want her D-E-A-D!

"Why? Because it is ten years exactly since Diana and my lovely Dodi both perished. And Kate Middleton must atone for that dire tragedy."

Fayed was speaking to the press and vented his ire at not being invited to the 31st August Diana memorial service.

"I seen the holiday pictures of Middleton and William. Don't they look just like Diana and my dear dead Dodo?

"I tell you, the establishment is gearing itself to pull off another big one.

"And that way Chelsy Davy can become Princess of Wales and her near-bankrupt Zimbabwean money-laundering father can finally get his money-grubbing hands on the Crown Jewels!"

Camilla is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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