London - (Rioters): The London Hilton has called in the police after customers jammed the hotel's in-house kiddies' video channel which instead of showing Teletubbies Go Wild On Holiday! featured fifteen porny minutes of footage of Kate Middleton screwing the Household Cavalry.
Clips seen by the press show the video was billed as a tantric yoga class showing Middleton and a six inch diameter stick of Brighton Rock.
Cavalry members were put through their paces to try to retrieve the sugary sweetmeat while Kate honed their lotus position skills with a vibrating rubber-tipped hairbrush and a jar of KY.
Hilton Hotels has refused to comment that a copyright issue is at the heart of the dispute since Paris Hilton's grandfather dumped his errant granddaughter from his will and cancelled all her rights to market her very own yoga classes on video.
Middleton was last in the news when nude photos of her and the Blues and Royals regiment were found dumped in a skip outside Buckingham Palace,
Her Balmoral invitation was then hastily withdrawn.
Chelsy davy is 21.
