Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 16 August 2007

image for Blair's new job? Middle East arms dealer on a commission
New Middle East arms dealer Tony Blair has earned £25 million from the Israeli deal

London - (Ass Mess): Downing Street sources were unable to confirm or deny reports in the UK press that ex-Prime Monster Tony Blair's 'unpaid' Middle East envoy job is in fact a commission-only arms dealership flogging hardware to the Saudis as well as the Israelis.

A Pentagon statement released today confirmed Israel had bought $30 billion of arms over the next decade, of which Blair's personal gratuity stand at around £25 million.

"It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it!" a Ministry of Defence source admitted today.

Blair had hyped his new appointment as a diplomatic mission working for "The Quartet" - a non-existent cabal of wannabe nuke-floggers masquarading as Global Piss Process luminaries.

"Ever since General Pinochet died last year there has been an intolerable vacuum to fill in the prestigeous niche market of arms dealing," London's Chatham House commented today.

"Blair was seen as the ideal candidate because of his money-grubbing wife Cherie and three grown-up kids who are no longer content to blackmail him over little things like the Good Friday Agreement with the IRA, or 9/11, etc."

There has been no response today from Blair who is still holed up in Barbados with Cliff Richard in tow.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Tony Blair

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