Letters show Diana was dumped by doctor lover over heroin addiction

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 6 August 2007

image for Letters show Diana was dumped by doctor lover over heroin addiction
Diana, a class act even shen shooting up smack

London -- (Ass Mess & ReUterus): Private letters between Diana, Princess of Wales and her sometime lover Dr Hasnat Khan have been purchased at auction by the News of the Screws newspaper editors and threaten to blow the lid off the hapless Princess's attempts to hide her heroin ddiction.

According to reliable Kensington Palace sources Diana was
'advised' by a former Met Police drug squad cop to score her weekly smack needs from a 'perfectly respectable and reputable medical doctor' willing to prescribe diamorphine rather than rely on Palace flunkeys to go out and score for her from the dealers always hovering around Center Point's down and outs.

two of the letters hail from her well-publicised but idiotic Taj Mahal trip where she confided to the press that she knew she would never been Queen but that the Indian palace holiday was very therapeutic.

"All the time she was just setting up a Foreign Office courier system for making sure her smack supplies never ran out," Screws features editor Dave Pratt said today.

"But when that got busted at Heathrow Airport she turned to Khan in the belief she could 'wean' herself off her hideous habit very gradually with his help.

"Sure she shagged him. Most smack addicts shag their dealers, it's sort of a tradition.

"But these letters show that Khan became paranoid about being found out and losing his licence. So he dumped her and told her to check into the Priory or some other rehab to clean up."

The letters may be serialised later this year pending the resolution of tricky lawsuits between Khan, Clarence House and the executors of the daftass woman's former estate.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more