Following the mass floods seen in parts of Gloucestershire new fears of a mass famine affecting chavs across the county have come to light.
The floods have caused the cessation of water supplies to numerous fast food chains such as Burger King, KFC and chav favourite McDonald's leading to closure of these stores in Gloucester, Tewksbury and Cheltenham.
Gloucestershire County Council has expressed concerns that the closure of these stores could lead to a chav famine as they rely on these stores to provide them with their meals. So far 17 chavs are known to have been admitted to hospital suffering from starvation and 7 chav single mums have contacted local emergency services worried about what they were going to feed their overweight babies.
There are also concerns that a large number of chavs may begin to suffer from fat and sugar withdrawal symptoms which include swollen heads, cigarette eating and spontaneous combustion.
Local Chavs Britney and Dwayne Spooner said "Like we're not worried yeah, cos yeah, we still got our microwave and our Damian says that microwave meals are way better than all those fancy restaurants in London so they must be good ain't they, and he should know cos he's a taxi driver there ain't he, d'ya know what I mean"
Duncan Fisher a member of Gloucestershire council stated that "We at the council are extremely concerned over the state of our chavs and we are in the process of rushing high saturated fatty foods into the area. We are very concerned that we have had a number of reports of chavy single mums forcing their babies to smoke to reduce their appetites which is a really bad situation to be in and we hope to rectify the situation in the near future".
