Written by Dick Kense

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

image for Floods To Be Abolished Says Government
Flood no more

The government today announced that from 2008 floods will cease to be a threat to the British mainland.

An audacious scheme funded by the national lottery and designed by will see a gigantic pump installed just outside Southampton. The pump will be employed at the first alert from the Met Office and any floodwater will be pumped straight into France.

A spokesman for the middle England symposium, Major Terence Willoughby Bagpuss-Frisbee said, "I think it's bloody brilliant news. France is a much bigger country than the UK and I'm sure they can afford the space, besides if it's a toss up between then Loire Valley and Tewkesbury I know who should be first to get the old galoshes out. If it's a really wet summer we might me able to dampen a little bit of Catalonia too."

A government source was unavailable for comment due to unusually high tides.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Flooding

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