Written by gopherash

Sunday, 3 June 2007

image for Shock as motive for 2005 Aardman fire is revealed!

After filing a request to the Government under the freedom of information act it has been revealed MI5 were behind the 2005 fire at the Aardman Animations warehouse.

The warehouse contained many of the most beloved plasticine characters from Aardman's illustrious history, including Wallace, Gromit, Morph, and many more no-one has heard of.

Police at the time initially believed the fire to be down to an electrical fault, after ruling out Tony Hart's involvement due to his alibi being watertight. Now under the recent government information act it has been revealed an outbreak of HSB1 Bird Flu at the warehouse caused MI5 to move in swiftly and deal with the offending poultry.

"It were them birds from that chicken runs or sumfink, yeah, one that Mel Gibson did tried to lead the others on an escape like, just like the film. We shot them but the bullets just went right through, they tried peckin us but that was their downfall really as when they did their beaks just smashed into our boots, silly sods" said one traumatised operative from the mission.

Plasticine animal rights group PETPA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Plasticine Animals) voiced concerns over the heavy handed tactics at the factory, John Wofcap remarked "is there any conclusive proof that plasticine animals can even catch bird flu? I'm not sure there is, and if there was, we would probably have harassed the scientists who discovered it by now and filled his exhaust pipes with shit"

It is understood Aardman founder Nick Park was compliant with the authorities on this matter. However, when he found out his entire factory had been destroyed he was understandably livid. It is reported he forced 2 squadrons of MI5 operatives, 3 battalions of SAS troops and twelve military commanders to reassemble the plasticine creatures at his secondary plant in Oxford.

Work is still underway more than two years on at the Oxford plant as the plasticine creatures prove a difficult mistress for the heavy handed military chaps.

It is understood Prince Harry will be deployed to this vital mission in the near future.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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