Forget chicken stock cubes: Gordon Ramsay reveals secret culinary ingredient

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

image for Forget chicken stock cubes: Gordon Ramsay reveals secret culinary ingredient
Keeping the customer satisfied

London - (Ass Mess): Celebrity London restaurateur Gordon Ramsay has revealed the success secrets behind his three Michelin stars following an industry controversy over Marco Pierre White's admission that he flavors his dishes with the humble Knorr chicken stock cube.

This morning over one tonne of Gordon's magical freetrade, organic ingredient was found dumped outside Ramsay's eponymous restaurant at Claridge's Hotel in Mayfair.

Police had to cordon off the area amid fears that rivals from lesser establishments might stage a hit and run to pillage the stuff as it lay in one large heap on the pavement.

However it soon became clear that Gordon's 'brown stuff' as it was quickly dubbed might have been better deployed on his vegetable garden as a whiff of something distinctly non-edible pervaded in the area.

Later a source from PETAL - People for Ethical Treatment of Assinine Lemmings, the support group lobbying for better meals in London restaurants - claimed responsibility for the pile.

As restaurant staff battled to clear pavement a Westminster Council traffic warned arrived and promptly slapped a parking ticket on it issued to Mr G. Ramsay.

This was quickly followed up by the threat of it being clamped and towed away, an offer that the restaurant gladly agreed to after working out that at £150 the price was a good deal and roughly the equivalent of an entree dish at the restaurant.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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