Written by KendoMonkey

Tuesday, 24 October 2006

image for Gordon Ramsey to head up international Anger Management Committee
Gordon Ramsay in a quiet moment of reflection

Amiable and renowned Chef, Gordon Ramsay, has been tipped to become the head of a newly formed international committee into the study and abolition of anger in our modern society. Ramsay, 40, is said to be delighted with the opportunity to show the world that anger is very bad for you, and can reduce sperm count in men as well as breast size in women.

"We really hope he is up for it, " William Mallows, current undersecretary for the European minister for Angriness. "We've needed an international spokesperson for ages and Gordo would be awesome. We've been looking for someone who is cool, calm and collected who can really pick up the ball and run with it."

The committee, said to be known under the acronym C.U.N.P (Committee for Understanding Not Punishment), is set to form sometime in 2007 and will generally involve sitting quietly in the corner of a pub until a ruckus occurs. During that ruckus, members of the committee will be charged with wading into the argument and cooling things down with exemplary temperament and logic.

Chef Ramsay is well known for his bad language. Indeed, his four and five letter outbursts cannot truly be called outbursts, but more accurately, verbiage. A sentence without a "f*ck" is a sentence incomplete. With his fiery temperament and low self-esteem, it is said that Ramsay would enjoy the opportunity to get involved with such an international mission.

Ramsay is well known for his culinary expertise and is generally recognised as one of the world's best chefs. His "stew à la maison", which includes things he calls "tatties" and boiled sheep's head, is said to be of the utmost delicacy. He is a big fan of The Beegees and supports Glasgow Rangers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Gordon Ramsay, Chefs

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