Tehran - (Rioters): All fifteen Royal Navy personnel seized at gunpoint by Iranian forces in the Shitt El Arab waterway twelve days ago will be home in time for Christmas.
That is the happy message according to reports from Tehran where President Ahmadinejad has said their release is a personal present to UK Prime Monster Tony Blair ahead of the traditional yuletide festivities.
The hostages have endured almost a fortnight of gruelling Iranian reality TV culminating in this morning's send off at the presidential palace.
There they were paraded in selection of Iranian haute couture (sic) civilian dress from the country's top designers.
"Our families are over the moon at the news," said one sailor. "It's the best Christmas present they could ahve ever asked for."
The Royal Navy crew will now sail home via surface mail on a packet boat that circumnavigates the globe according to UN guidelines.