Betting on a loser: Tessa Jowl goes down the pan

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 28 March 2007

image for Betting on a loser: Tessa Jowl goes down the pan
Spinning out of control: Jowl goes down the pan

Whitehall - (Rotters): It was always a dead cert and now Tessa Jowl's one way ticket to HMP Belmarsh has just come up trumps as the House of Lords threw out her gambling bill and consigned the feckless Mafia gangster's wife to the mercy of Anti-Terror cops investigating the 7 July London bombing atrocity.

The butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-arse Vulture Secretary and wife of Cosa Nostra shyster lawyer David 'Dark Satanic' Mills has been responsible for a string of public disasters.

Of these the Princess Diana Syphilis Spreading Fountain and the London Olympics Cost Fiction Factory have been seminal moments of her career.

Driven by megalomaniacal hubris, Jowl was supremely confident that her cowboy builder chums would win lucrative supercasino construction contracts in Manchester.

Two years of graft under Lord Levy's tutelage also made her confident that wealthy mobster pals of George W Bush would then easily get their gaming licences. And show their gratitude in the usual way by nominating life peerage contenders ready to make bigbux 'loans' to the Labour Party.

Alas, poor deluded mobster moll. Should have heeded the warning that balmy September day when drunkard Freddy Flintoff's England XII sang 'Jerusalem' in Trafalgar Square and bathed her in the reflected glory of winning the Ashes:

"And was Jerusalem builded here, among those dark satanic Mills?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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