Heathrow Airport - (Disaster Press): First it was Ralph Fiennes and the mile-high encounter with a Quanitarse steward.
Then the Northwest Airlines employee who skipped notoriousloy tedious foreplay pleasanteries and ejaculated on a sleeping woman passenger after lifting her shirt on a domestic flight.
And now the British Airways corpse which first class passenger Paul Trinder woke next to on a Delhi to Heathrow flight after an otherwise pleasant nap dreaming about honeymooning with the nubile Kate Moss.
Trinder has complained to the airline that when he fell asleep soon after take-off there was nobody else in his first class seat row.
Nor in the rest of the exclusive cabin area in what was a very under-subscribed longhaul flight.
"But when I woke up, there was this dead woman, strapped into the seat right next to me. Not three rows away or somewhere near the toilet but right dext door and blocking my exit.
"Imagine! A stiffie!
"I said to the steward 'There's A Dead Woman Here Mate!' But nobody reacted. So I hit the roof.
"There's a bloody dead corpse right here next to me, I shouted.
"Haven't you a fridge where you normally put them?"
Trinder told the press that there was a lot of turbulence during the next part of the flight and that the corpse "kept slipping under the seatbelt and moving about with the motion of the plane."
"And then all her bloody relatives from Economy suddenly descended on the First Class cabin and started wailing like banshees right down my earhole."
British Airways has declined to comment although its PR department once told the BBC that each plane has a special cupboard designed for such occasions where dead passengers can be stuffed during emergencies.
Trinder is now seeking compensation after his initial complaint was rejected by the airline with a cursory "get a life!" reaction.
