Cat Claims To Be True Heir To The Throne

Funny story written by Duff

Monday, 29 January 2007

image for Cat Claims To Be True Heir To The Throne
The Queen just before getting into a big gold coach and waving at people yesterday

A cat called Tiddles is today at the centre of a quite extraordinary row as it's being claimed that he is in fact the rightful King of England.

Bill Barmpot, from Bridlington makes the astonishing claims following a lifetime of hanging around dusty reference libraries. He told our Royal watcher Knickerless Wynchcombe:

"Oh yes it's all true. I have unearthed documents that tell of Henry the VIII getting pissed one night and making his cat, Oliver, the monarch.

When he sobered up next day he forgot all about not being the King and just cracked on with things as normal. But 'King' Oliver never forgot and his title has been passed down his line litter after litter"

Solicitors acting on behalf of Tiddles are about to file documents contesting the issue and expect fur to be flying when it gets to court.

Her Majesty told us:

"Look don't be so bloody stupid! How can a cat be the monarch? If you'll kindly forgive me now, I must go and wave at some people from a big golden coach"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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